Briget Boyle

Singer, songwriter, guitar player based in Oakland, CA

outskirts of my skin

Today I sit

still in the outskirts of my skin

With each moment that passes, I feel it coming loose

as my mind threatens to leave the room

the deeper part holds tight

stories I create to make my escape

quieted by the sounds from people surrounding me

I sit and sit and wait for the miracle to happen

Today it came a little closer

I, a little bit stronger than yesterday, am starting to see it

I look deep into the day ahead, into time, into the future

just when it is all too much, I am reminded that now is the time

now is the moment that I have been waiting for

without this moment there can be nothing else

there can be no yesterday or tomorrow

no kisses, no kind words, no pain, no loving glance

no smile flashed from across the room

only absence

In isolation, the mind withstands very little

There must be padding to catch the inevitable fall

today, that is why I sit

that is why I hold on for dear life to the moments that pass in the room

sun blinding me as it reflects off the wood floor

I close my eyes

as if somthing told me to look inside

to feel my skin from there

and to know that I am held

that this day is as it should be

that when I want to run, I should sit

when I want to shut down, I should shut up and listen

it forces me into presence

forces me into breath

guides me into stillness

leaves me with right now

So, today, I sit

Today, I wander to the outskirts of my skin

and am gently pushed back to center

to the place where me feet hit the earth like the trunk of a tree

my roots begin to take hold

I stand straight

head up

One step at a time

Taking only a moment

To gaze in