the quiet here

I feel as if my mind were caving in on itself

the quiet here

I am alone and colder than yesterday

it is not dark, but spacious and full of choices

this alone causes the compression

and my mind to act out 

pull focus

come in

look inside

in there are castles and clouds 

and flowers to pick

their aromas feel so far away right now

and I can’t 

I can’t understand what I want to hide

why I look away from the source

and how I let days go by as I sit still


The floor lamp is steady, so why do I falter?

it brings light to the room

and yet I don’t

I feel like I need an instruction manual

to know how to turn it on

and someone to stand outside the door 

checking on me

making sure I don’t get distracted

I want this writing to feel good to feel easy

but the glue that covers the floor of my mind is thick

and in it, I get stuck

and I push through and every so often it breaks

I feel some freedom

say what is really happening

and then I go back

into the hold 

my hands feel weak and kind of crampy

and my legs don’t move like they used to

so I stay still

hoping oneway I will learn to jump again

jump at chances

jump out of bed


Briget BoyleComment