I am in Austin at the annual SXSW festival. Since Tuesday, I played two showcases and have consumed more live music than one ever should in one sitting and I ain’t mad about it. This festival and the sheer volume of creative people is all at once inspiring, humbling, and overwhelming.
As I wander around the streets of the city I used to live in with I was 21 years old, I feel my aloneness. I am surrounded by crowds of drunk hipsters flying by on scooters, and industry professionals who are making bucks off of the players on the stage, and of course musicians, trying to diligently walk the path that they can’t step off of because of the life giving passion they feel for the music they create.
My spouse did not come with me on this trip, nor did my music making team. I am flying solo and there moments when I feel so far away. I feel my head telling the stories of this path being too hard and long for any one human to tread. I feel the fear well up that I will never be heard or seen.
And then, I talk with the person I am sitting next to on the bench and realize that our worlds are already intertwined. We share common interests and common struggles. We are humans among humans. I come back to earth. I relate to the being in front of me and have one of the realest conversations of my life. I see how music can bring us together.
I feel hopeful.
And so today I woke up, sent a bunch of booking inquiries, and am about to head out for another day in this amazing town. The artist life is one of beauty and at certain times, deep struggle. May today be one of the beautiful ones!
photo by April Renae